What am I feeling?
- Couples workshop
- 3 hours
- Presenter-led
Bulbarrow Consultants
Who’s Talking to Who?
Communication, emotion and neurodiversity in close relationships
A workshop for couples who want to understand why the same conversation can mean different things to each person, and what might help when a moment starts to feel personal.
What one person means
“Can we decide what we’re doing tonight?”
What the other hears
“You think I never make a decision.”
Available where you are, in a suitable space arranged locally, or as part of a residential in Dorset. Selected workshops can also be delivered online.
Who’s Talking to Who? can also be delivered as a residential, with more privacy and more space around the work. See how residentials work.
- At your placeThe workshop is brought into your own setting.
- Somewhere nearbyA suitable local space is arranged.
- As a residentialOne, two or three days in Dorset, with more privacy and space.
- OnlineSelected workshops only. Ask whether this workshop suits an online format.
The central idea
Two people can be in the same conversation and be responding to very different meanings.
Each person’s interpretation shapes how they respond, and that response becomes part of what the other person interprets.
Soon, the conversation can become about much more than the original question.
A practical framework
Four questions at the heart of the workshop
What meaning am I giving this?
What am I being pulled to do?
What would help me choose my next response?
Eight overlapping lenses
Places to look, not labels for either partner.
The workshop doesn’t require personal disclosure or ask you to decide who is at fault.
- 01Processing and communication needs
- 02Current capacity
- 03Feelings and needs
- 04Previous experiences
- 05Unspoken expectations
- 06Relationship history
- 07Power, boundaries and safety
- 08Wider life pressures
What you’ll take away
Clarity, better questions and workable options.
Greater clarity
A way to separate what happened, what each person thought it meant, and how each responded.
More useful questions
Practical ways to check meaning instead of relying on assumptions.
Workable options
Ideas about timing, setting, pauses, boundaries and how to repair a difficult moment.
A considered next response
Ways to ask, listen, wait, pause, seek support or set a boundary.
Recognition of limits
Knowing when a situation needs practical change or outside support, rather than more self-reflection.
About the presenter
Matt Thomas
Matt Thomas is a coach, mediator and crisis consultant. He works with people and teams where communication has become difficult, pressure is high and things have started to feel personal. He has more than 12 years’ experience in crisis intervention and coaching.
His ADHD coaching brings a practical understanding of how differently people can process the same moment.
- EMCC Accredited Psychosynthesis Coach
- ADHD Coach
- Trained in family and commercial mediation
- Registered with Addiction Professionals
How it’s delivered
Understanding and options, without forced disclosure.
Fictional examples and presenter demonstrations, with no required group activities, role-plays or personal disclosure.
The workshop offers understanding and options to try. It is not couples therapy or a psychological assessment, and it can’t promise lasting change from one session.
Also available for workplaces and teams.
View the workplace workshopInterested in Who’s Talking to Who??
Start with a conversation.
Tell us who is involved and what is happening. We will talk through whether it fits where you are, in a space arranged locally, or as a residential.